The itsy-bitsy spider

Climbed up the water spout

Down came the rain

And washed the spider out..................

Ok. I have not been about the blogs a bunch. Shit gets in the way. My lap top crash in a bike accident ( I told it not to go riding without me!) and my access at work has been significantly reduced. Lately I have been reading the blogs on a PDA device that I checked out from work ( the better to delete-designate emails at work) but it really doesn't allow me to do much on the internet.

Soooooo..... it just is what it is..... I am still writing, but it is transcribed on those wonderful yellow tablets that I love so much, and I am really, really doing well with my soon to be unpublished new book, "Translating Pornography into Braille for Blind Chipmunks" and the local Piggly Wiggly had a great sale on Skippy Peanut Butter and Sardines, so I stocked up. See!! Life is good if you want it to be.

Anyways...... While I was sneaking through alley-ways, scrounging spare change to buy my next beer, Randal, The Dude Duke of Cleveland hath tagged me with a meme thingee...... Six Random Things About Moi......

.... But it is all Random, right?

I am ignoring the rules.... not enough time....but it seemed like an easy lob pitch that even I could hit.... so here goes.

Randomnessity!

1) I was an actor in college. After the football team at the U told me they really had little interest in a 175 linebacker with a bum shoulder I checked out the Theatre Dept and discovered that THEY had a NEED for ONE!! It was good stuff.... most fun I have ever had with my clothes on. I used to write long rambling pieces for the U newspaper, too, and had one article illustrated with a caricature of myself done by a guy named Mark Gruenwald http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Gruenwald... who ended up as an Editor/Illustrator for Marvel Comics. I enjoyed journalism. It was the most fun I had with my clothes off. ( Thank you Julie Jones!)

2) I have broken my nose twice, my right big toe twice, and index finger once, cracked a heel (falling off ladders is not good) and chipped some bones in my left foot. Never broke anything big...... except my heart. (well, the nose is a bit large..........maybe.)

3) I used to be an antique dealer in my spare time. But then I got too old to keep up with antiques.

4) I am really a shy person stuck in a gregarious personality. My shrink said there is no cure but it probably won't kill me unless I move to Illinois.

5) I have read 'The World According to Garp' five times and the 'Lord of the Rings' ten times. Sometimes it leaves me with a feeling of deep melancholy and an urge to speak Elven.

6) I blew out an eardrum about thirty years ago while high diving from quarry cliffs. The right ear is pretty screwed up, but I have learned to adjust.

I am losing the sight in my right eye. Dr.'s are not sure what is up. I am not coping all that well with it at present.

...........Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again

...Yuppers, it really ain' no deal. I'll get up early tomorrow, and the day after that, until saturday..... on which I will sleep late.

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll never know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I guess it is all how you look at things.

Swimming lessons

O Captain, my Captain! our fearful trip is done,

The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

But O heart! heart! heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

Walt Whitman

But it's been a tough few weeks..... and I am still afloat.... kinda sorta.

It's just that really sinking is not an option............ I owe Billy Lang twenty bucks and he will not let me drown until I pay up!

Happy St Paddy's Day

..have a beer on me...........................

...... I'll pay you back later!!!

Spring Hopes Eternal

Boy&Howdy!!!!! I am done with this WINTER!! Sunday we graciously received eight inches of wet slush. Yesterday it melted..... some. Last night the wind picked up... some gusts to 40mph... everything has a crusty ice glase.

Some times I think bears have the right idea..... just sleep through this shit!!!!

(I wanna go biking!!)

How My Life Changed

It started out as an innocent thought. I began to think at parties of how to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone-"to relax," I told myself-but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Ralph Waldo Emerson's work to enhance my thinking. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, pondering, "What is it exactly that I am doing here?" Things weren't going so great in my outside life either. One evening, after eating dinner, I asked Cheryl about the meaning of life. She stared at me, aghast. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.

One day the my boss called me in. He said, "Jimm, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking, you're going to have to find a new job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Cheryl," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want to see other people!"

"But Cheryl, surely it's cannot be that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I slammed the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with some Beethoven melody playing softly in the background. I roared into the> parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't move. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I have a new job now, and things are a lot better.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking

I need Crackers.....

Because I am Crackkkkkking up...

What a Friend We Have in Cheeses

What a friend we have in cheeses,

Mozzarella, Cheddar, Swiss!

Bleu and Limberger's sweet breezes

Lingering like a lover's kiss.

Humble milk's apotheosis,

Muenster, Provolone, Brie

Damn cholesterol's thrombosis

Cheese is Gouda stuff by me!

Heed the U. S. Dairy Council,

Keep the Gruyere on the shelf

Even just a tiny ounce'll

Give you vitamin B-12.

Gather, pilgrims at the deli

Buying Edam and Havarti,

Wedges moist and cold and smelly,

Bring home lots and have a party!

anon

-found on web