1997

The old man checked out 13 years ago tomorrow.  It was kind of a mess, over 90 days in the ICU and it all started with a broken leg.
See, he had had polio when he was a kid, the effects not all that severe and not anywhere near severe enough to prevent him from being a howitzer gunner during WWII, but it left the muscles in his left leg very rigid and if  he tripped or fell it usually resulted in something in the leg breaking.  My sister did a tally once.... like an incredible 15 times in 10 different places.  But the deal was, the last time he had a reaction to a painkiller they shouldn't have given him,,, he passed a kidney stone which caused a small heart attack.... and things went down hill from there.
But the guy was THE DUDE.... he spread so much bullshit that you would have thought there was a small ranch outside the family house.  Seriously.  He sold advertising for a small town newspaper and was noted for his humor and tall stories. When I was a kid he once told me that his appendix scar was a bayonet wound he got when he captured Adolf Hitler.  His war stories were great!!  Why the guy lent Roosevelt a cigarette once.  He also sunk a sub with a hand greenade while going to Europe on a troop ship.  He told me he wrote a book  but didn't like it so he gave it to a guy named Hemingway and thus launched a great literary career. And those were some of the more mild tales.  He caught fish the size of sailboats, dug most of Lake Michigan by hand and had dated Greta Garbo but married my mother because she was better looking.

So the night before he died my sister and I were in the ICU waiting room; this was the third time the hospital folks said he would probably not make it through the night.  Third time's the charm.  I remember it being about 3am and helping my sister grade some essays her students had written on Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors".  She was burnt out and had missed about as much school as she could. And then I came across the best essay of the bunch.....
it was titled..... the Comedy of Airs.  I shit you not.  And the student wrote.."This is a really good play.  William Shakespeare is a really good writer.  He is my favorite playright.  I think "Comedy of Airs is the best play he write.  It is really really good......." and it went on like that for four pages.  I started laughing.  I couldn't stop.  My sister looked at me and I handed her the paper.  She spit out the coffee she was drinking and soon we were both having hysterical fits.  I couldn't stop.  I would grab the paper from her and read a little out loud and she would start again.... then she would read some to me and we would be off again.  The nurse came to see what was up and we read some to her.  She didn't laugh.  I truly pissed my pants that night.  He left at about 6am.
Dad truly loved Halloween and handing out treats about as much as he loved telling jokes.  I still believe he gave us one more candy bar that night, one last treat, one more laugh.   I know it's true.  I read the Cliff Notes.

Rule of 72

 so I am hanging out at Obllio's the other night and a couple of guys start talking about the rule of 72.  Now I never pretended to be the smartest guy in the world.... far from it.  And some of these guys are much smarter than I am.... the equalizer at Ob's is that we all bend our elbows the same way.  Anyways..... some of these guys are CEO's, lawyers, accountants, investors.......and to a T, all Green Bay Packer fans and appreciators of good beer.  There is a camaraderie in beer and football that makes us equal.
But that night the more financially astute start talking about something called the rule of 72 (or some such) and in a nutshell......

A golden rule of investing is known as the Rule of 72. It is way to calculate how long it will take your investments to double in value.
If you divide the number 72 by the rate of return you expect to earn on your investments, you will find the number of years it will take for your investments to double. For example, if you are earning 7% per year, it will take about 10 years. If you are earning 14% it will take about five years.
You can use the same calculation to find the rate of return required to make your portfolio double. Just divide the number 72 by the number of years that you want the money doubled. For example, if you want your money doubled in 10 years, you will need a 7% percent return. 

OK.  I am going to take my $15,76 and get it into some hot stocks.  Today.
But then the thought hit me......America has invested over $1Trillion in the wars in Afghanistan and  Iraq.  I guess that was not a good place to invest in.  Otherwise we would now have, what, $2 Trillion in the bank.
Well, we don't.  It ain't there.  We invested the money and what did we get???????

Now that is not school building.


















..... and it sure isn't comprehensive health care

and it isn't college scholarships.


All I have heard this election year is that we need to cut taxes and reduce the size of the Federal Government.
So....... I am not the smartest guy in the world..... far from it.....but it seems to me that if we are not fighting a two fucking wars..... we can cut taxes.
And if we are not fighting two fucking wars..... we can greatly reduce the amount of Government needed to prosecute those fucking wars.
And........ get around to investing in something really important.

But what do I know?  I am not the smartest guy in the world.

When all else fails.... post kid photos

I really have nothing today.  My mother is still in a holding pattern.  Not getting better, not getting much worse.

I do get almost daily phone calls from the Kid out in Portland.  The news is decent.  He found a part-time job that should pay the bills and found a studio that had him do some 'songs' for their exercise dvds.  I guess they are all so interested in having him do some sound work on another project. I guess I am torn.  I look back and wish, at times, he was still a little boy.  But he was a handful then.

..........but at least I never worried about him as much as I do know.  the level of "NO-No's" he can commit has grown.  (and he has learned to keep enough bail money in his savings account)

Farvism outlawed in Green Bay

someone sent me this from outside of Lambeau Field last sunday.  I think that the cops are just enforcing the new dress code.

It's been rough

 I gotz the blues.  My Mom is not doing good.  I could get the 'phone call' anytime.  I spent nine days there and she see-sawed beween doing ok and shitty.  Now she can't even pick up the phone by herself. Has a leaky heart valve, kidneys aren't so hot.  And, at 88, what do you do that can restore quality of life?

You tell jokes..........
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

And then... I am still unemployed in a great economy....
more jokes,,,,,

When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
"No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!"

...and I am having oodles of problems with my knees and feet..ghost of football past.  What do you do?
Joke it off....

The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Minnesota quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or any other coin operated devices.

The problem lies in the unique design of the Minnesota quarter, which was designed by a couple of Norwegian specialists, Sven and Ole. Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines.
And.... I need new glasses.....
tell another Joke

Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians?
A: The Swedes have nice neighbors!

and if that doesn't help.... tell another joke

A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that goes down the center of the road. The first day he managed to paint 2 kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The next day he only painted 200 meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the first day. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. The boss called him into the office and demanded an explanation. "Well, you see it's getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede explained.

 ..... and if all else fails..... there is always

& on a positive note

Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.

So America is bat-shit crazy.  weird&fucked up.  I would love to switch it all off, but I found I am hard wired into life and there is no turning it off and there is no escape.   So.................
all right, it is an old song.... but sing it with me...

The eastern world, it is exploding
Violence flarin', bullets loadin'
You're old enough to kill, but not for votin'
You don't believe in war, but what's that gun you're totin'
And even the Jordan River has bodies floatin'

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say
Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today?
If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away
There'll be no one to save, with the world in a grave
[Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy]

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Yeah, my blood's so mad feels like coagulatin'
I'm sitting here just contemplatin'
I can't twist  the truth, it knows no regulation.
Handful of senators don't pass legislation
And marches alone can't bring integration
When human respect is disintegratin'
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin'

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Think of all the hate there is in Red China
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama
You may leave here for 4 days in space
But when you return, it's the same old place
The poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace
Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace
And… tell me over and over and over and over again, my friend


Mm, no no, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.l

this day

"In Watermelon Sugar the deeds were done and done again as my life is done in watermelon sugar. I'll tell you about it because I am here and you are distant........

 Richard Brautigan


......... that's all I have today

and then........

And me upon a buckskin pony with eyes like blue electricty and a mane like tangled fire, galloping up the hill and right off into the high heaven of the world.

William Faulkner

been gone

I haven't been about the blogs of late.  I've spent the last week in my hometown helping clean up my mother's house.  Western Wisconsin is nice, but a little more rural than I care for anymore.  The nice part is going for a walk along the bike trail.  It's fashioned from an old railroad bed and transverses under a couple of the larger hills.  I didn't have time for biking.... but as in life, the walk can be nice.

have a good day.

Don't do the dishes.
Don't wash the car.
Forget the laundry.
Go walk for wishes
it ain't that far.

Mom Redux

My sister called.  Mom took her 'power scooter' from the nursing home to head up to a Fall Festival at the Lutheran School.  One of those deals they put on for Seniors; have the kids sing songs, treats and tea.  I guess the van that normally takes her in her regular wheelchair was full so she said she would take her 'car'.  Well she rode the goddam thing off a sidewalk or something and wiped out.  Lots a bumps bruises.  Nothing seems broken.  But she is now at the Hospital in LaCrosse.  
The woman does not know how to stop.  Even at 88 and no longer able to even stand up.  But when you  wipe-out at 88.  It's serious. At the end of August my niece Emily was married at a ceremony out in the country, about five miles from the nursing home.  She made calls, made plans and had someone with a wheel chair van equipped with a power lift to get herself out there.  We had tried making arrangements.......but she wanted to get there in her power chair...."so I can get around at the reception.
She amazes me.  Also drives my sister batty.

Miriam, Eliot,Kristine,Max,Zak,Jonas,Adam,Emily

There was no way in the world she was going to miss the wedding.  "All my Grandchildren in one place!"  Of course she wouldn't.  My sister thinks we should take the power chair away.  I think we should just buy her better tires or maybe just get her chains on them for the winter.  I'm thinking that she's thinking that "if you have to Go..... you may as well Go on the go.

No Spring nor Summer Beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one Autumnal face.
John Donne

ok......

 well..... I liked it.  The kid made it about a year ago.  I like looking at their ole videos.

fun stuff

Stupid

There can be second chances in life.  For some fortunate few, thirds and fourths.  The opportunity to do something mind-bogglingly stupid though can occur only once in a lifetime.  Of course, there are those who ARE incredibly stupid and they chug through those chances at a mind-numbing pace.
I'm talking about normally sane folks who get inspired and fall off the edges meant to keep us normal..... whatever that is.

Now.... I am not talking here about just irrationally pranky fun stupid....... like the time I painted my old Volkswagen a bright safety orange glow color.  Hey... that was a no brainer... Dad had all that old paint around .... and there was one of those old canister vac's in the basement with all these crazy attachments.... so it seemed logical to paint that sucker rather than fix the rust spots.  Man!  I got paint on the wheels, the windshield...everywhere!  I get a second chance at something like that again.... Whoa...I will use a brush instead!
Nope.... I am talking really really stupid.....something that seems to have a clarity no one else can see or understand or appreciate.  Something that must be siezed with both hands, maybe even a couple of feet, and swirled through the air like a giant Japanese kite or something.  And people would say...."Boy, was that stupid" but still have an air of reverence and awe in there voice as they say it.  That's what I want.  I was thinking of moving to Montana and starting a Dental Floss Plantation, just like the Zappa song.  Ya, not original......and I have checked the catalogs and nobody has floss seeds.
So..... iffen anyone out there has an idea....lemmee know.  Write me a song or dance me a letter.

Life is stupid.  I want to embrace it. The alternatives seem so drool.

If your glass is half full....it's 'cause you are too lazy to get it filled!!!

lee, mooka & me

Thirty one years ago a couple of friends of mine graduated from college.  Being sensible guys and needing jobs they did the sensible thing...... they bought a bar.  At first it was just the business that they bought but a few years later they purchased the building. It was built in 1874.  Since everyone had already hung out there in the first place.... not much changed in the beginning.  Then the ripped out the added 'drop-ceiling and restored the old tin one.  And they bought some large antique lighting fixtures.... and put in a keg cooler in the basement and a new tap system that could accommodate 27 tap beers.  And bought oak bar stools.  Added copper topped tables.  When the business owner who leased the second store front in the building retired, the put and archway in the wall, built a second bar to have music events.  A third bar in what had been a garage was later added... as welll as a patio. 
The thing that never changed though was the people that stopped in.  Friends, folks and fun lovers.
 Not bad for not knowing what you are going to do after college.
And the friends part is not an exaggeration.  You always...ALWAYS know someone when you drop in. Or if you didn't know them.... you soon do.   A few weeks ago the previous owner of the bar visited from Florida.  Mooka J.  I hadn't seen him in about 30 years.  He sounded the same, looked the same and still had a laugh that would scare a bull moose. (and frankly, sounds like a bull moose)  I introduced him to one of my newer friends, Lee who writes a wonderful blog about all the craft and micro beers available in Oshkosh.  He calls it "Oshkosh Beer".  Real original, huh!
Mook and Lee hit it off real well and soon we were related stories of the 'Old Days'.... when we were all a little wilder.  There were a lot of, ah, characters that used to hang out there..... Mad Dog, Kid Curry, Bruiser, Baby, Red Fred, Sweet Roll & his brother, Hard Roll, No-eyes Martin, Wheels and HIS younger brother, Spare Wheels.  Some of them are no longer around.  Gone way to early.

But it was a good time.  Talking with Mook reminded me why I will never go to an Applebees or a TGIF.... or any of those cutsey bar-restaurant dealees.  I still favor small cafes and pubs and restaurants.  The food maybe better somewhere else, the beer may be cheaper..... but the folks you find at a place like Oblio's are irreplaceable.  They are there because YOU are there and You show up because two college room mates didn't have jobs.

joe

billy

karl

"it's my bar"!!! have a beer!!

just an idea

ok, see, it's just an idea.  Like, I heard Australia has a ton of kangaroos.  Lots, even, and see, Wisconsin does not have a single wild kangaroo.  Nope.  Not a single one!  But... we have a bunch of deer!  In fact each fall we assemble a volunteer army, dress them in Orange camouflage and send them out to battle the deer.  It is kinda quaint custom.

Anyways..... I'm thinking we should trade Australia some deer for some kangaroos.  Kangaroos can also jump out of the way of cars, see, which deer might be able to do, but them seem to dumb to get the concept.  In fact.... some actually JUMP in front of cars....either a suicide thing or a clear presentation of how stupid they are. 
Anyway.  I think it is worth a shot.  If it works we could trade some other stuff, too!

I think America needs more Roo's and less deer.  It would be a start to get rid of surplus biological specimens that we have way too much of. 

Like Tea Baggers.

I need help!!!!!

I have decided to be Amish for a day..... and I am not sure how to  do it.  If anyone has information... let me know as soon as possible.  There is only a few hours til the Packer game.... and I gotzta get this going as soon as possible.

Beer& Cheese & books

OK.  It's Friday.  Whoopee-Shit!  Gonna make a few phone calls for Russ..... beer at five.  Tomorrow is Ocktoberfest down at the river..... and Sunday gonna watch the Packers.  Maybe eat some Cheese.

But in other stuff..... stumbled across a new book by a Michigan author.... Steve Amick.  It's not Faulkner.... but sure is a spiffy-neato-keen read!!!!  So good that I knocked it off in three days...... and picked up his first book.... which, only 30 pages in.... is pretty good too!  Plus!!!!!! from his web page, the guy likes good beer..... so if anyone is looking for nice reads.... check him out.  Just saying is all.

If you were looking for a review..... I don't do reviews.  Have a good weekend.