It's been rough

 I gotz the blues.  My Mom is not doing good.  I could get the 'phone call' anytime.  I spent nine days there and she see-sawed beween doing ok and shitty.  Now she can't even pick up the phone by herself. Has a leaky heart valve, kidneys aren't so hot.  And, at 88, what do you do that can restore quality of life?

You tell jokes..........
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

And then... I am still unemployed in a great economy....
more jokes,,,,,

When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
"No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!"

...and I am having oodles of problems with my knees and feet..ghost of football past.  What do you do?
Joke it off....

The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Minnesota quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or any other coin operated devices.

The problem lies in the unique design of the Minnesota quarter, which was designed by a couple of Norwegian specialists, Sven and Ole. Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines.
And.... I need new glasses.....
tell another Joke

Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians?
A: The Swedes have nice neighbors!

and if that doesn't help.... tell another joke

A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that goes down the center of the road. The first day he managed to paint 2 kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The next day he only painted 200 meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the first day. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. The boss called him into the office and demanded an explanation. "Well, you see it's getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede explained.

 ..... and if all else fails..... there is always