I've Decided....

.... that if I am going to have a second childhood.....

It will be like this!

Ok. The buzz in town is the opening of the new Johnny Depp movie, "Public Enemies" that had several scenes shot in my neighborhood of Beautiful Downtown Wisconsington.

I mean, literally in my back yard. The wardrobe trailers, directors RV, all that stuff, was parked right behind Oblios. The old bank on the corner was used for one of the 'robbery' scenes and the coffee house across the street was done up as a dinner. The Scene crew and set decorators were in town several weeks before the shooting began and they soon found out that Oblios was a cool place to hang out and I got to meet several of them. It all made for interesting conversation.


Most of the actors, including Depp, were housed at a boutique hotel twenty miles from town but that didn't stop a army of onlookers from besieging the neighborhood. Some days it was difficult to walk home without two or three rent-a-cops stopping you.

Anyways! On one of the last nights that they were shooting in town the director and a bunch of the actors stroll into Oblios. The word had gotten around that there was good top-shelf booze available and not at California or New York prices.


Schultzie was drinking with some of the actors who play Dillinger gang members, Spencer Garrett and Stephen Dorf. He introduces me and we down a few shots of really really good tequilla. We chat and I score a couple of autographs for Max. Michael Mannn, the director strolls in with Marion Cotillard, who had just won an best actress Oscar. I said, "Hello". Later I shot a game of pool with another gang member, Michael Vieau. He's originally from Chicago and had to tell me that the Packers Suck, several times.

Well the night went on and there came a time they all needed to leave; I guess there was an early scene shot the next day, but that is when I had the most fun of the night.

The bar was full of gawkers and tourista types.... It's the kind of bar where strangers stick out like a stalk of celery in a Bloody Mary. Just as I was getting ready to leave one of them comes up to me and asks for my autograph.....seriously. Must of seen me talking to some of the actors and playing pool with Michael and just ASSUMED I was connected to the movie. Well, I had a moment when I was going to explain that I wasn't, but then thought better of it and quickly scrawled some in decipherable bull shit on her bar napkin. Then she asks me, "What role do you play in the movie?" Again, a moment of truth swept across me as quickly as a mosquito in August. I dismissed it and said, "Just a guy in the neighborhood." Her face lit up and she said "Cool!"

A special showing of the movie starts here this weekend. I have to go and see if I am in it.

Every once in awhile I get a song stuck in my head..... usually one that is poetic even without the music....

Boulder to Birmingham

I don't want to hear a love song

I got on this airplane just to fly

And I know there's life below

But all that it can show me

Is the prairie and the sky

And I don't want to hear a sad story

Full of heartbreak and desire

The last time I felt like this

It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire

And I stood on the mountain in the night and

I watched it burn

I watched it burn,

I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

I would hold my life in his saving grace.

I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham

If I thought I could see,

I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time

And the hardest part is knowing I'll survive.

I have come to listen for the sound

Of the trucks as they move down

Out on ninety five

And pretend that it's the ocean coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean

Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

I would hold my life in his saving grace.

I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham

If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

FOX NEWS SPECIAL REPORT

Same sex doughnuts linked to decline of USA morals

Global Warming blamed on doughnuts

Doughnuts thought to be cause of Global Recession

Obama vows to crack down on doughnuts.

Killer Klowns

FOX News' designated flamethrower, Bill O'Reilly, slammed Rosie on "The O'Reilly Factor" last night, calling her "nutty" and "irresponsible," and suggesting that ABC should fire O'Donnell for her provocative remarks about Iran and the war in Iraq..

..... boy that is some killer comedy, Bill!!

Frankly, speaking of Rosie, I would have added 'shrill' to nutty and irresponsible..... but O'Reilly doesn't seem to get it that he is nutty, irresponsible and asinine.

http://www.oreilly-sucks.com/

I just don't understand things these days. I am really sure that I don't want to, either.

Talking heads... hemorrhoids that speak.

And then in real news... Neda Agha Sultan.

Just google the name. I have nothing to say.

The more things change..... the more they stay the same.

Some days I just want to move to Montana

Time

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Yuppers, I gotz no time. I was out of the office for three days and I just feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. Next week I only have three days IN the office, with the July fourth holiday coming up.

Time has come today

Young hearts can go their way

Can't put it off another day

I don't care what others say

They say we don't listen anyway

Time has come today

I spent most of the weekend biking and working on my 'flip-flop' tan.

I almost feel that I might have something important to say........... I hope that feeling goes away soon.

Time flys when one is having fun.

Payday Friday

Don't know much about history

Don't know much biology

Don't know much about a science book

Don't know much about the french I took

But I do know that Sarah Palin really doesn't have boobs that look that good... or I might have voted for her.

And I know I gotz this nifty, spiffy, peachie-keen bridge that spans Lake Michigan and I really need to sell it.....

.. and I know that God, if there is one, did not rest on the seventh day

(and what is up with that anyways.... like, God would need to rest? I mean, from what? Being God? That was just one of the thingees in the Bible that didn't make sense. I mean, if the Bible said that on the seventh day God played Monopoly or ate a ham sandwich.... gees, that would make more sense than he needed to rest!)

But after that......

Don't know much about geography

Don't know much trigonometry

Don't know much about algebra

Don't know what a slide rule is for

Winter

Oh, but these are days! Finally!

I woke today with a clean crispness in the air, cool and even fragrant as it touched all my senses. There was a promise of warmth later in the day that will making reading under the shade of a steadfast maple a simple joy to look forward to.




It reminds me of mornings waking on my parents sleeping porch when I was young and the summer days would kiss your cheek and take your hand to lead you into days of infinite possiblities and promises and adventures and fun and you would know deeply that if those things
didn't happen on this day.... they certainly would on a day soon, and it would be better than anything you had ever thought about.

Those days are not like they used to be.... but they still exist, and when I find one I hope I am never so old as to not believe in them for then I will have certainly lost faith in myself.

Winter may be coming...... but it is not today.

Tails

Please excuse Kennedy from school

-- signed, Barack Obama

Associated Press
June 12, 2009
Green Bay, Wis. -- Ten-year-old Kennedy Corpus has a rock-solid excuse for missing the last day of school: a personal note to her teacher from President Obama.Her father, John Corpus of Green Bay, stood to ask Obama about healthcare during the president's town hall-style meeting at Southwest High School on Thursday. He told Obama that his daughter was missing school to attend the event and that he hoped she didn't get in trouble.

"Do you need me to write a note?" Obama asked. The crowd laughed, but the president was serious.On a piece of paper, he wrote: "To Kennedy's teacher: Please excuse Kennedy's absence. She's with me. Barack Obama."He stepped off the stage to hand-deliver the note -- to Kennedy's surprise.
"I thought he was joking until he started walking down," Kennedy said after the event, showing off the note in front of a bank of television cameras. "It was like the best thing ever."The fourth-grader at Aldo Leopold elementary in Green Bay already knew what she was going to do with the note: Frame it along with her ticket to the event. She said she'd make a copy for her teacher.Kennedy said she had never seen Obama before. "He's really nice," she said.


** OK. Maybe it's no big deal.... but here's the stuff...... About five years ago when Bush was running for re-erection he visited Oshkosh. Sorta. I mean, there was a 'set-piece' show.... and then the whole fucking motorcade 'sped' through town. Nobody really saw him, except for a few Republicans at the meeting. And some of Max's friends who happened to be working at Leon's

...Well somebody must have told Bush that they have really good custard, and they do, so the Presidential motorcade pulls into to Leon's for a couple of cones ..

(Hey! I am really not making this up!)

.. and Prez Bush has a photo- op with Max's friend Rachael, buys a big cone for $1.75.....AND WAITS FOR THE QUARTER CHANGE!

Well.... I guess he needed the spare change for the war or something..... rather than a tip for a poor High School Student. Cheap son-of-a-bitch!

But here's the real deal.....

Dear President Obama

Would you please write a note to my boss telling her that I need to leave work early today?

okjimm

WAR!

OKEE DOKE! I was really, really, really bored on the way to work this morning. A twenty minute commute is a long time for someone with ADD and my fertile mind was restless and I really was thinking of bananas and wondering what I would have for lunch and what I would do after the twenty minute commute back home and, gees, what ever happened to Nancy, the really, really cute girl I had a mega crush on in High School and what kind of beer she would like to drink and if she would still talk to me and if someone would already have made coffee at the office by the time I got there and why people don't like run-on sentences.

So, I decided to to get a band of gorillas together and start a war......

Ha! How's that for a casual link! Actually, not those kind of gorillas....

but this kind.... guerrillas..... the ones that just reek of justice and rights and freedom and liberty and unwashed clothes! Real Patriots!!!!! Men who would gladly enlist in a real war against...... say...... certain green vegetables like broccoli and asparagus ( both really vile green things if you ask me)

Yesirree Bob&Stuff! Get me a crew of some real bush-whackers to root out evil, inadequate manners and bad taste! Fight litter-bugs! Kill assholes who throw chewing gum on sidewalks! Eradicate dandruff! Battle Hemorrhoids!

Yuppers! I wanna assemble a rabble of guerillas that will rip & snort and battle the enemy ..

(whoever that may be on any given day.... cause I figger that If I Really wanna be a guerrilla leader I have to be ready to fight anyone at anytime for any reason...... or even for no reason at all!)

..and still be able to hang around a good old campfire at night and drink beer and eat sardines out of k-ration tins and sing battle songs and wax eloquent about all the innocent bystanders and innocent other we may have snuffed during the day! Shit&Whiskers! I wanna kill, maim, pillage, loot, rape, rampage, annihilate, commit a little genocide, hate, burn..........................

hey.. that is starting to sound like work!

.... and I know that work sucks.... and I would much rather suck beer...... hmmmmmm.... lemmee re-think this!

ok. never mind. I think I like Susan's idea.....http://phantsythat.blogspot.com/

I'm mailing $5 to Oblio's in Oshkosh so you can have a beer on me.

I think it is a marvelous idea!

Oblios Lounge

434 N Main St

Oshkosh, WI 54901

c/o Grill Dog's beer fund.

After all there are Cheeseheads here that go to bed sober..... I don't want to be one of them!

Happy AnnaVersusRy to Me

Wowsers! It came to my attention that I have had a blog for about a year. I think that is eleven months and two weeks longer than I should have, but seriously, who keeps track of that?

Anyways....

I think I have had a good time blogging. I've met a lotta people that I feel I can call friends...

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

... and I have been inspired by all the deep thoughts and intellectual concepts that those friends have brought into my life that I often attempt deep thoughts myself....

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

... and I have met some really cool chicks, ah, women on the blogs who have introduced to me the true meaning of feminism....

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

.... and I met others who share the same kind of deep seated beliefs that I do...

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

..and the blogs have taught me that there is a wide divergence of opinion and thought in our world and one must daily practice tolerance of those thoughts and opinions...

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

... and boy have I read some funny stuff on the blogs. I think.
He who laughs last didn't get it.

.. and I got to meet a bunch of people with religious beliefs that, though I have none, coincide with my beliefs on how to treat people... with kindness and humor...

The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.
Eric Hoffer

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
Quentin Crisp

... and maybe lastly, but not leastly, I met some weird dude in Cleveland who not only emphatically said I should blog, but was 110% responsible for naming it, 'OK Jimm's Eggroll Emporium'

Dude, lemme buy you a doughnut!

THE INVADERS

Ok. I really like trees. and bushes. and flowers. and all sorts of growing green thingees.

Not just beer, cheese and football. In truth, I am a pretty good gardener. I tried a 'Master Gardener' program at the local Tech School, but the assholes kept insisting on referring to different plants by their Latin names, which is really stupid; I have yet to hear a plant speak Latin, though if you really get drunk while gardening, it is very apparent that most species of Flora speak variations of Canadian.

So, I struck out on my own about twenty years and learned by trial and error. I became a King of Compost, a Prince of Perennials, a Sheik of Shade-plants, a Wizard of worms and a Duke of Dirt. Just sayin'. And I started hanging out with some folks who do gardening on my level..... sans Latin.

Yesterday I am in Waupaca, an hour north of town, where the consenus is that the north woods begin, and I am having a beer with my old room mate, Pete, and his brothers Dave and Dan. Invariably the conversation turns to growing things. And things that shouldn't be growing here...... and insects that shouldn't be here: milfoil, Box Elder, gypsy moths, emerald Ash borers, zebra mussels, tent catepillars........ and the one I hate the most.... Glossy European Buckthorn.

This stuff was imported as a hedge material because it grows quickly. Which is an understatement. If rabbits propagated as profusely as Asian Buckthorn, bunnies would rule the world. It sprouts early than native vegetation and has a longer growing period which in essence lets it crowd out native plants. It further has an abundance of seeds/fruits that offer no nutrition native birds or mammals and further acts as a cathartic to further spread itself, and sooner or later the native birds and mammals take off for better food. TheSome info from the WI DNR...

http://www.ipaw.org/invaders/buckthorn/index.htm

...I have cut this stuff, burned it, poisoned it ( and I really, really do not like to use chemicals in gardening) pissed on it and have even tried medieval curses. I may as well be tilting at windmills. Six years ago I completed a landscape revision for a client, an acre of natural woodland and a formal garden that was over-run with the stuff. I was out there last week and it is all back again!

Then, in the midst of all my frustration ( and a time out for a couple of beers) I realized that America is also the target of another kind of 'invasive species'..... The White-Faced-Lip-Flapper......

A

.... a species seemingly dedicated to make America a Mono-culture of hate, swill, verbal sewage and mediocrity. I best be buying a lot of weed killer this year.

To love is to risk not being loved in return...

To hope is to risk pain.....

To try is to risk failure...

but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Thought for the day!!!

It is not the size of your banana that is important..........

It is the quality of your A-peel !

And now on to something really, really important!

The Bard of Cleveland, monsieur Le Ran-dal, took ever so slight umbrage from my previous posting of a Naked-Truth VP Cheney, and posed the question;

"Did the internets run out of scantily-clad ladies?"

Well, golly-gee&buttered bisquits!

I am sure that the esteemed Poem Peruser knows said pages where such can be viewed overly well and it would not be my place to suggest new ones to him, but he really is a swell guy, and it is thursday, which is awfully close to friday which is right next to saturday which is a great day to have a beer SO.... here is my thursday salute to Randal and scantily-clad women who drink beer!

Just A Drunk Mother

"My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober."

G. K. Chesterton

okee doke

all-rightee. The shock-treatment therapy seems like it worked. My membership in the Taliban has been rejected, and I didn't win $200 million in the lottery.... so I came back to the blogs.....where low and behold I been tagged wit a couple of dem Meme thingees by Nunly and Libs..... and Libs hit me with a book-thingee which is easier, cause my life is a open book, the Oshkosh Police have booked me, my Ex threw the book at me...etc&so forth&such

So....

1. Name a few of your favorite books

"All the King's Men" - Robert Penn Warren. One of the tastiest reads ever. Three or four times is insufficient.

"A Confederacy of Dunces" - John Kennedy Toole. Funny on top of Funny wrapped in Ethos and topped with Pathos. Who needs ketchup when something is this funny.?

"Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Cookbook"- (ok. I am into the South right now. And sometimes books are meant to be devoured. Just Saying.

6. What genre do you dislike?

Self-help books. I tried to read one about masturbation and boy&howdy was that a mess!!!

2. Is there an author that you don't like, yet so many people seem to love?

Yeah, God! He really lost me with all the 'begats' and 'thou shalt nots'.

4. Where do you buy your books?

Buy? C'mon! Shoplift! I learned how to do it from a self-help book.

5. What genre do you read the most?

Fiction. Novels, short stories. Non-fiction. History. I am still very embroiled in reading about the Civil War. I can't wait to find out who wins!

7. Is there a book that changed your life?

I think it was 'Moby Dick' unabridged. My older brother whacked me in the face with it. Very hard. Black eye and two stitches.

8. Have you you ever met an author? What author would you like to meet?

I used to book guest speakers at the University. I got to meet Margaret Mead, Buckminster Fuller, P.J. O'Rourke and Ken Kesy. Ken was cool. I got very drunk with Ken Kesey. At the time he favored tequila.

9. Name a book to film adaptation that you really like.

I have two........

Miriam and...

Max.

They break me up daily. I'll try the Nunly next.

How can you miss me Iffeen I didn't go away?

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been.
Truckin, Im a goin home.
whoa whoa baby, back where I belong,
Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin on.
Hey now get back truckin home

Yesirree Bob& Green Gravy!

Shit has been really weird..... and I think the worst is over and I am still breathing. Two good things. Now if I can just find the flip-flops I packed away last winter...... the nice LL Bean ones....I make just make it.