Rabu, 30 November 2011

Well, ok... it has been a somewhat-sorta-kinda busy week here in beautiful downtown Wisconsington.

Mostly the weather... but no one wants to hear about the weather..it's bad enough being in it when it is not to your liking.  Talking about the weather always reminds me of when my mother would talk about her second cousin, who I never met, and all the illness that woman had...and, oh, there were plenty!!  I think she was the only woman, that cousin, who managed to have three hysterectomies....a really medical case study.  I think she was also born without a tailbone... whatever.

Anywayz... headed to Madison this coming Saturday for my nephew Eliott's Wedding.  Gees, he has been a couple with Sarah so long it seems like they were married along time ago.  I think they just ran out of excuses to have a party, is what I am thinking.  I still really don't know where the WEDDING is...I mean, where in Madison.

Not that it really matters.  I checked around... looking for a cheap room for Saturday night and did not find one.  And it didn't help that I had no idea where the wedding WAS going to be..other than 'some place just off the Capital Square...so the Ex said that my sister said that most of the family said they were staying at some Ruby Marie Hotel.... and I broke down and booked a room.

Now it was a little pricy for me.... cause I can be cheap...specially when all I want is a bed and a shower.... but after checking the place out it seems like  a nifty little place built back in 1873 or such and the Happy Hour in the bar is free for guests and so is breakfast.  HA!  They may not break even on my stay!! &&&  after talking with my sister it seems that between Sarah's family and my sister's we have booked all the rooms.... it could be fun. Especially..... with.... my nephews...






.... and it should be a good party....Elliott and his brothers are a gas.... Adam has been in Asia for the last few months...just quit his job in Sand Diego and split with his girlfriend/fiancee... I guess they saved up some money, whatever... he always tells good stories.  Middle Bro, Jonas... is an out and out gas.... He was late for his teaching job one morning...so he got a speeding ticket...which really made him late.... so he gets a second ticket ... fifteen minutes later... for speeding in a school zone...the one in front of where he teaches.  Elliott worked his way through college as a sous chef.... I know he will have some good stuff ... he made the dinner menu.

I am really looking forward to this... it just got to be a reflective moment.... I was a good kid... the cousins are all good kids.... not a Republican in the bunch!  Max will not make it, the only cousin absent... but he can't fly home from Portland twice in a month... and Christmas is already set....
Grandma and her grandchildren.....
...... kinda wish Grandma was still around...... she sure liked the kids.  See, you can only complain about the weather... you can't change it..... and you can't change your family either.... so you may as well love them....


Senin, 28 November 2011

Herbie Hancock doggone it

....


well, OK... it;s a Herbie kinda day, ha.... and it ani't even close to over.  Good old Oliver-Dog got away from me.  Or to be honest, he just decided to take his walk without me or the leash. Nope, I could see him thinking, see, as he looked back at me, "I knows the way, Jimm, just be seeing you in a bit." And off he went . Hit the corner at Sterling and Powers and just started trucking down Powers headed south with me yelling behind him.  Course, he can do two blocks to my one and I am getting pissed, and, gosh I barely covered that block when he comes running back  north up THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET chasing a guy on a bicycle. Now I have no ideas about what he would do iffen he would catch that bike and it ain't no never mind, cause now I am a block behind him heading the other way... and getting a little chilly in my thinking.  Well, someone at Melvin and Powers said he stopped at the fire hydrant for a quickie leakie and  and was headed east.  So I am trucking east on Baldwin hollering out his name when a door pops open.... "Oliver? Is he short, black&white?"  Well, some lady opened the door to get her newspaper and he just sauntered in and sat on their couch.  Dogs can be assholes.

No soup for you, Dog.

But nothing is nothing that can't be fixed with a little Herbie on the stereo and maybe a little herbie in the pipe.  finished off with a little cookies and milk.  No cookies for you, either, goddam dog.

Rabu, 23 November 2011

TURKEY

OOOPS.....wrong turkey.... lemmee see














nope nope nope............... dat be a Turdkey


well, getting closer..



AW....... dat's da one.... !!!!!!!

So, I could wax eloquent on what's i like about turkey and thanksgiving and such.... and what I am thankful for and how cool left-overs are....and how wonderful it is they Put the Packer game on just for me on the holiday....yupperz... I could do all that, and more....

but I won't.  But I will leave youse all wit a peace of pie

see.... I'm just a guy that ain't got much.... but I sure do have plenty

!!!!!!!!!!  Stuff !!!!!

Senin, 21 November 2011

THE COPS WERE SURROUNDED.. and just wanted to get out




"Charles J. Kelly, a former Baltimore Police Department lieutenant who wrote the department's use of force guidelines, said pepper spray is a "compliance tool" that can be used on subjects who do not resist, and is preferable to simply lifting protesters.
"When you start picking up human bodies, you risk hurting them," Kelly said. "Bodies don't have handles on them."

... course the cops had no choice....  bodies do not have handles...


"After reviewing the video, Kelly said he observed at least two cases of "active resistance" from protesters. In one instance, a woman pulls her arm back from an officer. In the second instance, a protester curls into a ball. Each of those actions could have warranted more force, including baton strikes and pressure-point techniques."




 of course.... see, those cops were in grave danger.... oh gosh&stuff... they were surrounded !!!!!!

UC Davis Police Chief Annette Spicuzza said the decision to use pepper spray was made at the scene.
"The students had encircled the officers," she said Saturday. "They needed to exit. They were looking to leave but were unable to get out."


Maybe we should raise our voices, 
ask somebody why
But demonstrations are a drag, 
besides we're much too high
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends
phil ochs

Jumat, 18 November 2011

Brother, can you spare some change....

Heard the cranes flying south this morning. A neat trilling sound, less raucous than geese.  Course, can't see them... but you know that they are up there.   It is a nice sound on cold days... and it gives the promise, too, that they will be back.  Seems that they are easier to see in the spring sky, but maybe that is just me.
It reminded me of stuff in the fall.... though, the crispness of the air, glasses fogging as you enter a warm house, the smell of my grandmother's apple pie, helping my mother grind the fixings for her turkey dressing.  The days are increasing shorter... the darkness now comes in late afternoon, the bare trees shake in a cold wind... and I am sad that another season is at an end.... and that I am older now... and that there will be a set amount of seasons left for me.  I shrug off the thought, cause it really is no never mind and there is nothing to do about it anyways.  Best to think of all the sounds, and smells, and foggy glasses in the past and be happy for them.

So....there are sounds... that fill a heart, a soul and even when they are sad, they are good, because whether I am here or not... the cranes will return.  It's all just changes... and changes will be good, if we want them to be.

.




I was born by the river
In a little tent
And just like the river
I've been running ever since

It's been a long, long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh, yes it will

It's been too hard living
But I'm afraid to die
I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long, long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh yes it will

I go to the movie, and I go downtown
Somebody keep tellin me "don't hang around"
It's been a long, a long time coming,
But i know a change gonna come
Oh yes it will

Then I go to my brother
I say brother help me please
But he winds up knocking me
Back down on my knees

There's been times that I thought
I wouldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come
Oh, yes it will

Selasa, 15 November 2011

Tis' the SEASON

Yessirree Bob... Whizconsin is a seasonal place.  Lots of them.  Just forget the regular Spring,Summer,Fall, Winter routine, cause mostly we only have two weeks of Spring, four weeks of Summer, two weeks of Fall and ten months of Winter.... or depending on the barstool wag youse is talking to...two seasons.. Winter & Mosquito.  But that is all wrong.  I know...because I am plenty smart and iffen youse all gotz a moment or two I will tell you about some of them, mostly because I can.

Now, Wisconsin is a mystery to most folks east of Lake Michigan and a myth to those west of the Mississippi, so this will be very clarifying to most of you.  Especially about the seasons.  We have bunches... and I know most people down there in Illinois think that the only seasons we gotz is pepper and ketchup but the truth of the matter is we have more that you can shakea maple stick at.... but for brevity's sake and not to overly tax my TAXED ENOUGH ATTENTION SPAN....which by the way is something RICK PERRY suffers from as well as me....but I don't care about RICK PERRY, cause he is an asshole and I am not, but if I have to bring him and me up in the same conversation I would say that I am a lot cuter, but not near as cute as Herm Cain, and my boobs are not as big as Michelle Whats-her-name and, what was I talking about?

Oh, yea, seasons.  Well, see, the first big season is PACKER SEASON
.. which runs from early August to the Super Bowl.  Now some around the country call it 'FOOTBALL SEASON' which is just plain wrong.  It is truly Packer Season,just to get that straight.  It kinda runs concurrent with summer, fall, winter, but that ain't quite right.  See, Packer Season is when we celebrate the life of St. Vincent the Lombardi and oh gosh is there ever a lot of events &stuff, see, like the Blessing of the Bock beer, the consecration of the Cheddar Bras and the weekly feast of the Holy Tailgate.

Now, I am not making this up... and iffen you call be a liar, why gosh I may just whack you over the head with a bratwurst and some pickled eggs or such.  Anywayz, it is THE MOST MAJOR season there is and I have a bunch of green and gold T-shirts to prove it.  Just saying is all.

Now the next really big season is Deer Hunting.  Which kinda happens in fall and is a minor additive to the PACKER SEASON and if you are a good Packer fan and a good hunter, why golly, you get to wear your blaze Orange clothing to Lambeau field, which the goddam TV commentaters getz a big kick out of... but everyone knows most commentaters wouldn't know a Mitt Romney from a Jim DeMint or a Mint patty...which I kind of like myself, especially when I have had too much sauerkraut on my brat and I need to freshen my breath...which is mostly what I need to do after watching Republicans de-hate on TV.... well... where was I?

Hunting, oh yea... well, I am not a hunter.
 I heard DeNiro once came to Wisconsin and they made a whole movie about Deer Hunting... but I aint seen it, cause I don't hunt... heck, I don't even own a gun;;;;;;
Those guns are really noisy and if you are not careful with them, whygees, you could kill something!! Another thing about hunting season that most tourists doan know about is they have a special part of the state, which I am bound by law not to reveal, where they let the deer hide behind trees and then run out in front cars and kill unsuspecting Polacks who are up from Milwaukee. Nowthatmostlykillsthedeertoo....but I don't mind, cause it helps control the Polack population which gets out of hand from time to time.  But anyways I did go to deer camp once, cause I was told that Jimmy Frank kept a big porn collection at his cabin and we would mostly just drink beer and whiskey and play cards.... and indulge in another well respected season here in Wisconsin....
STRIP CLUB SEASON !!!!!  which is really only two saturday nights a year and run concurrent with PACKER SEASON and DEAR HUNTING SEASON...... now it was explained to me that you can only truly participate in Strip Club season if you are a happily married faithful male.... now the boy's let me go with them that time cause they said I was happily divorced and it is almost the same thing and I was a good sport about doing the dishes while they were out tramping in the woods.  So we are at the club, see, and there was this girl painted JUST like that swinging around on a pole.... well gosh,.. I asked her later...."How much is that there paint job cost?" and she said, "$500".... but I had to provide the soap which I really didn't understand and Tim Lee just laughed when I asked what she meant.  See, it must be a secret thing that only guys who go regular to Deer Camp knows about.

So, as you can see already there is lots of seasons here in beautiful DownTown Wisconsin...and we just keep coming up with more.  The newest one, which is pretty interesting and has brought some attention to my part of the World.... is the RECALL SEASON... which I am told started two days after the 2010 election and is celebrated mostly by Democrats and disgruntled  Liberals.... but even Republicans can participate..... why golly, see, the RECALL of GOVNER WALKER part of the season just started and the Head Republican declared...
“The Republican Party of Wisconsin has launched the Recall Integrity Center; a website designed to protect the integrity of the signature gathering process and be a valuable resource for Wisconsin voters who have witnessed any wrong-do...ing or suspect foul play by Wisconsin Democrats or big government union bosses. Voters can submit videos, recordings, photos and incident reports, which will be investigated by RPW staff and retired law enforcement and FBI agents, to ensure that any Democrats who attempt to use any type of fraud in order to meet the required number of signatures by law will be held accountable for their actions."
So The REPUBS are going to wear blaze orange and combine Recall Season with Hunting Season.... hey and I really liked, "Big Government Union Bosses"  which though I gotzta say, I hardly understand, cause the Republicans ARE the Controling Government and they are small minded... or maybe if the Union Boss is under 5'5" it's ok... course it also sounds like iffen it is Republican Fraud, it's OK...... and I really like "Recall Integrity" which, iffen I recall correctly hasn't been Center for awhile in the Republican Party.  Course, if you have a whole bunch of Hundred Dollar Bills, you can combine Stripper Season with the Recall Season and just slip some money into a Pole Dancing Conservative is how I thinking it would work.... but I'm also guessing they wouldn't look cute like those painted girls up dere in Hurley and thinking too that the Porn at Jimmy Frank's cabin would be more informative... and he left some Wild Turkey up there, which, get this, is also a whiskey as well as a bird, see, if I recall.
Anywayz.... The Packer Season, Recall Season, Hunting Season and Stripper season all coincide this Thanksgiving... Wowzers!  Kinda like Haley's Comet only shows up rarely and all.  And speaking of Stripper Season.... I want to take the paint off that old table in the garage, all I can do this year... the Republicans have left me short of dollar bills.


"

Sabtu, 12 November 2011

9999

Well golly gee, time sure flies when you are having fun.... course it would fly faster if I had more money to have more fun..... but it is what it is and so that is no never mind..... but the thing of it is....see, is I put one of those cluster maps thingees on the blog last may... just for grins and giggles well anyways... to day when I looked at the update thingee, it said that I had had 9,999 visitors since May 6th.

I thought it was a Ermin Caine dudget plan. 9-9-9-9 now that would be a Dudget I could really refuse to believe in.  Yea, dat Harmen Dain is a guy that really breaks me up. I can just hear his pick-up line, "Hey, Babe, wanna see my flat tax?"
Anyways.... see, I am looking at that Cluster Map.... and A) I truly do not believe that many folks read this crap.... so B) there must be that many folks who are looking for eggroll recipes.  It is the only way to explain it as far as I am concerned.

So, iffen that information is anywheres correct... I have deduced that because
22 folks from Pakistan have checked in... the Taliban is watching me
448 people from Canada explored here... proving that Canadians are easily enticed to boring sites
40 from Poland have showed up... proving Polacks doan know what an eggroll is
5 people in North Dakota may have found the wallet I lost in '77
22 from Armed Forces Americas.... waz that?
133 in Germany visited here... could be wurst.

Hey, even someone from Maldives was here... and I have no idea where that is....

but the real thing of it is....as much as I do not care about stats and such.... it is a grin to see the 9999% who have occupied this space, if for only a second or two....

I never had a plan when I started blogging, I still don't.  I still do not make eggrolls, I still do not deliver, except for the snarky ones, and I will be back here..... cause it has been/is fun.. meeting folks&stuff.  Do you like mustard wit dem eggrolls, or sweet sour?

Kamis, 10 November 2011

The Ideal Republican Candidate!


.
It would be a SURE THING!  A woman, a minority, good boob size, a thoughtfully smirky smile, Arty Sensibilities, good Renaissance Personality great recognition factor....  and shit, listen, I am not being racist.... but they already have, what, eight, ten monkeys up on that stage, what's one more?   Yup, I heard that they are gonna line those fucking clowns up saturday night and let them jubble up some nouns and verbs and pick some noses, maybe suffle their feet a bit....shit&whiskers.... lemmee tell you about ONE home town boy who will not be watching that shit.... Nope... I think I will rent me some Brady Bunch DVDs and delve into a deeper, more sincere consciousness than anything those fucking idiots will talk about.  But ask me how I really feel about it.... sometime when I am a little more apathetic, please, and after the prozac kicks in.

Nope, see, I have other things on my mind..... like the dope-shit crazy fucks that are running My Beautiful DownTown Wisconsky.... running it run into the fucking ground hog... speaking of which, it goddam snowed here yesterday and I guarantee youse all that I am not gonna see a shadow of a doubt or any other shadow until the goddam grass is green again and the trees sprout those little leafy things... oh, where was I?  Yupperz... Wiscovilleson..... well, see, what happened is that in order to CREATE JOBS.... the Republicz Fuckz passed gas and a new law that let's anyone over the age of five carry a concealed weapon..almost any fucky weapon other than a nucklar bomb...... and originally you had to take FOUR hours of training to be able to do that.... well they scraped that.... nope.... no training needed now....
Shit... you need four hours of traing to BE A BARTENDER! Over 300 hours of training to be a fucking manicurist....gotza take a written and road test to drive a car,  but nopez, I can just walk into a gun shop and say "Hey, gimmee a big ass gun with some big fucking bullets"... and all the guy has to do is say.... "you can pick it up in 7 days, would you like Ketchup with that?"   Well the first thing wrong with all that is it is spelled CATSUP  and I prefer tartar sauce with my hollow point bullets, thank you very much.

Alright, I know that was a little radical... hehehe


Anywayz.... see, it is Veterans Day... and as much as I hate war, I have the utmost respect for veterans.  I don't care if they enlisted, were drafted, came home in one piece... or missing pieces, or came home in ... bags.
They are ours, and they are us.

So... I just want to say.....to all those.."support our troops" folks.... who just forget about them... when they do come home. 
So let me set the record straight.... Vietnam... I did not serve.  I was drafted...had a shitty lottery number.  I also did not pick up a student deferment.  I did have, though, a phone number in Toronto, and a girlfriend who was two months late.  All that is a different story.  I spent the Nam years protesting...
Yessirree Bob, I certainly did.  And that is where I got to know most of the veterans I knew.  In college, at rallys.  Guys without arms, legs, eird scars... in wheel chairs... some were a little nuts... and some had hearts so big..so big.









Cause America took them... abused them, changed them...shucked them and chucked them.... and they saw the worst.... cause they were in the real shit storm.... not folks like me.  So this guy on FB asks what kind of parents those OWS protesters had... to let their children hit the streets in a mob.  Even some of the 'newspapers' are hawking up that same old spittle.  Fuck that crap... wrong is wrong.
And don't tell me otherwise, see!  I remember what was wrong... forty some years ago.  So, if the Vets hit the streets.... they are just part of the mob, right?  If they ask for a new leg, or arm.... or a little cash to finish college, well gee, that's just entitlements, right?

Oh, those guys saw.... lived.....what we can only imagine....... or do not want to.
The  folks coming back from Afghan, Iraq....  what they must feel, now.... 

now, that the clowns who will prance and swing and sing.... and not say a word about ending al the wars and bringing all of our vets home...even Obama....  no one is talking about what is in store for them.... now.  Benenfits?  Oh... that would just be entitlements.... 

Nope....it is just one of those days.... the sun rises much too late these days, sets too early. My feet are cold.... and there are just clowns and monkeys on a stage, and the organ grinder is calling the tune.
I gotzta go.


Senin, 07 November 2011

Kamis, 03 November 2011

Just like a woman

.


 so... a couple of mechanical engineers...from Minnesota...Sven and Ole... are sent to measure a flagpole.   but they didn't bring a ladder.  So, Sven says " whatta we do nowz?"
Just then a women comes by.... understands their dilema... gets a wrench out of her purse, loosens a nut, lowers the pole, gets a tape measure and says. " eighteen feet 6 inches." and walks away.

Sven says, "ain't it just like a woman.... you ask for height and they give you length!"




sexist comment of the year;;;; live with it.

Selasa, 01 November 2011

Dear John

Oh.... it is amazing the information you can get just sitting on a barstool.... Like my hairdresser's personal phone number.... who has the best happy hour... and one of the founding members of the JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY was all so the father of Koch Industries.... and our beloved Koch Brothers.


Now the Birchers have a long history of kookism..... and an According to Rober Welch, the prime founder of the Society

"both the U.S. and Soviet governments are controlled by the same furtive conspiratorial cabal of internationalists, greedy bankers, and corrupt politicians. If left unexposed, the traitors inside the U.S. government would betray the country's sovereignty to the United Nations for a collectivist New World Order, managed by a 'one-world socialist government.'" Welch saw collectivism as the main threat to Western Civilization, and liberals as "secret communist traitors" who provided cover for the gradual process of collectivism, with the ultimate goal of replacing the nations of western civilization with a one-world socialist government. "There are many stages of welfarism, socialism, and collectivism in general," he wrote, "but Communism is the ultimate state of them all, and they all lead inevitably in that direction."

Now, I am not going to do homework for anyone.... but the John birch Society is one of the most paramoid groups to ever exist.  Eisenhower was considered a Commie Stooge, OSHA, the Federal Reserve, China fluoridated water.... boy and howdy, all plots.... there was a Socialist/Commie under every Bush!!!

.



TEA ANYONE?
Here's another funny link to the JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY